Bushwick’s HBO GO Account Canceled, Residents Riot in the Streets

Bushwick residents were in for a rude awakening Wednesday morning. Thousands of people tried to log into Bushwick’s collective HBO GO account only to be informed that the streaming service wasn’t available. It’s estimated that 80% of Bushwick’s population has been accessing HBO through a single Comcast account. The identity of gmonger@comcast.net remains unknown, but he or she has canceled HBO service, cutting off hoards of Brooklynites.

Jake Lee, who only has two episodes of The Jinx left to watch, described losing access to HBO as “a punch to the gut” and compared the experience to when his childhood dog died last year. "I’ve been pretty depressed about it, but it has given me time to reconnect with friends and check in at work.”

Not everyone in Bushwick was able to move on as easily. Dozens of residents took to the streets to unleash their anger. While some people chanted moody prose in the style of Hannah Horvath, others went full-on Game of Thrones and set shit on fire. NYPD was called to the 500 block of Knickerbocker to investigate a man trying to slay a city bus with a Swiffer broom.

Officer Dan Stern described the scene as “a pretty basic temper tantrum. Nothing a good nap won’t fix.” While no arrests were made in connection with the incident, authorities have formed a strike team to investigate the intricate web of HBO GO accounts and identify high risk areas.