Guantanamo Style Workouts Sell Out Across the City

New York City gyms are rushing to add so-called “Guantanamo Workouts” to their class offerings. SoulCycle first introduced this style of group workout 6 weeks ago and classes are already fully booked for the next four months.

For $65, fitness enthusiasts are treated to “an adrenaline-pumping 50-minute workout guaranteed to soil your spandex.” Depending on skill level, participants can expect everything from solitary confinement and sensory deprivation to light waterboarding. Water and access to bathroom facilities can be purchased for an additional fee.

Fitness clubs are scrambling to meet high demand for these classes. Equinox posted a listing on their career page seeking “dishonorably discharged soldiers with foreign service experience” to help teach the Guantanamo way. The wait list for Guantanamo Workouts at Equinox has become so long that some members have taken to standing outside the studio holding handmade signs demanding entry.

New Yorkers lucky enough to get a coveted spot in class are thrilled with the results. TriBeCa resident Becca Murphy swears by SoulCycle’s Guantanmo Workout, noting it’s the only fitness routine that’s helped her achieve “that starving orphan look” she’s been seeking for years.