Week 72: Jewish Treats & Sugar Drinks

Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Location: 7-Eleven (Chelsea)
Event: 7-Eleven Day
Food: Wild Cherry Slurpee

In it's annual effort to prove that the world still has some good in it, 7-Eleven gives away free Slurpees on July 11. It is also the prime example of my eagerness to eat things I don't like just because they're free. Not paying makes everything taste better so I happily drank my wild cherry sugar juice.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Location: Essex Street Market (LES)
Event: The New Old-Schoolers: Reviving Traditional Jewish Foods
Food: Pickles and bagel

Access to pickles and bagels is probably a key driver in my decision to stay in this city I can't afford. Essex Street Market hosted an event in honor of traditional Jewish foods which is a pretty good way to get my attention. I would've stayed for the main event, but there were no seats left and my awkwardness would hit a new peak if I had to stand by myself for an hour.

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4 meals in July // $20 donated to Food Bank For New York City

Week 71: Fish & Film

Monday, July 3, 2017
Location: Bryant Park
Event: HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Fest
Food: Swedish Fish

In a surprising turn of events, I've decided Bryant Park is a very fun place to hang out. They show movies, have board games, and sometimes give out free candy. If they had air conditioning I think I could give up my apartment.

Week 70: Cheese Curds & Canada

Saturday, July 1, 2017
Location: Dream Hotel (Midtown)
Event: Canada Day Party
Food: Poutine

In a possible effort to steal the thunder from July 4, Canada went big to celebrate their 150th Canada Day on July 1. They provided poutine for everyone, which probably trumps fireworks. They also have Justin Trudeau which definitely trumps Trump.

Week 69: Personal Pizzas & Sorry Sushi

Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Location: &pizza (NoMad)
Event: Grand Opening
Food: Maverick Pizza

&pizza is great because they make it feel slightly acceptable to eat an entire pizza by yourself. They were celebrating the opening of their first NYC location with personal pizzas for everyone. The vibe was kind of like a pizza version of Chipotle, except without the communicable diseases hopefully.

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Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Location: Squarespace (SoHo)
Event: Storytelling Your Talent Brand
Food: Sushi

Greenhouse is some sort of HR software that hosts events under the false assumption that HR is a broadly interesting topic. They also served the kind of sushi that doesn't actually have raw fish in it but I have no right to be picky. The panel did feature some interesting women and I got a free gel pen so I'm a believer.

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9 meals in June // $45 donated to Food Bank For New York City

Week 68: Chat Rooms & Loco Foods

Tuesday, June 13, 2017
Location: Taco Bell (Union Square)
Event: Steal a Game, Steal a Taco
Food: Doritos Locos Taco

I save the gastrointestinal risk of eating at Taco Bell for when they're giving away free food. The Golden State Warriors won an away game so we were all gifted with the joy of a Doritos Locos Taco. This was the first time I had one and while it was special I think I'll stick with my normal seven layer burrito.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2017
Location: Slack (Astor Place)
Event: Slack Dev Meetup
Food: Guacamole and empanada

I think Slack is basically like AOL chat rooms for your office. While you're less likely to be propositioned for sex, it's probably not as fun. They hosted a developer event at their NYC office and served empanadas, which is one of my favorite vehicles to eat meat and cheese.

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Saturday, June 17, 2017
Location: Story (Chelsea)
Event: Get Fresh with Chobani
Food: Yogurt

Even though I think yogurt is one of those secret unhealthy foods I've had a lot of Chobani over the years. They were on hand to introduce some of their summer flavors at a shop in Chelsea. I never knew I needed kiwi and watermelon flavored yogurt, but I guess I do.

Week 67: Fake Cakes & Real Vegans

Monday, June 5, 2017
Location: Astor Place
Event: National Veggie Burger Day
Food: Veggie burger and fries

It pains me to write that the two best free meals I've gotten in the last 18 months were both veggie burgers. This one came from Amy's Drive Thru which is a vegan fast food restaurant that doesn't even have a location in New York—they really just wanted us to eat some vegetables.

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Thursday, June 8, 2017
Location: Grand Central
Food: Red velvet cupcake

Zaro's Family Bakery celebrated forty years of serving Grand Central by giving away a bunch of baked goods. I got myself a red velvet cupcake which has always seemed like some kind of voodoo food to me. But it had cream cheese frosting so I was willing to overlook its artificial origins.

Week 66: Days & Donuts

Friday, June 2, 2017
Location: Times Square (Midtown)
Event: National Donut Day
Food: Donut

I legitimately believed Entenmann's only existed in California until like two months ago. Thankfully their frosted donuts are everywhere and they had an army of people handing them out in Times Square to celebrate National Donut Day, one in a long series of nonsensical holidays that now exist in America.

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Friday, June 2, 2017
Location: Krispy Kreme (Penn Station)
Event: National Donut Day
Food: Donut

Krispy Kreme also celebrated National Donut Day in the most obvious way possible, by giving out free donuts. I didn't mind because I got to hang out in charming Penn Station and pretend I had some place I needed to get to. I even had the willpower to save my donut until after I ate my Costco hot dog later that day.

Week 65: Teens & Ice Creams

Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Location: Häagen-Dazs (Chinatown)
Event: Häagen-Dazs Free Cone Day
Food: Mint chip ice cream

This officially wins the award for the longest I've had to wait for free food. All of Chinatown seemingly showed up to claim their free scoop of ice cream. I waited behind a group of high schoolers which is a pain I would wish on none of my enemies. 

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3 meals in May // $15 donated to Food Bank For New York City

Week 64: Manly Taste & Ant Cakes

Thursday, May 4, 2017
Location: Birchbox (SoHo)
Event: BirchboxMan 5-Year Birthday Bash
Food: Grilled cheese

BirchboxMan, which is apparently a thing, was celebrating its fifth year of existence. Melt Shop supplied grilled cheese sandwiches which was a big step up from the tiny bowl of candy that was served at the last Birchbox thing I went to. Now we all get to keep waiting patiently for the subscription business model to die off.

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Saturday, May 6, 2017
Location: Banana Republic (Midtown)
Event: Banana Republic Summer Collection
Food: Cupcakes

For some reason ant sized cupcakes have become of staple of the free food scene. Maybe they think I won't eat as much if the food is miniature but that is simply not true. Banana Republic served up a large display of these offensive cupcakes so I ate four and didn't even pretend to shop. 

Week 63: Old Tricks & New Tarts

Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Location: WeWork (Times Square)
Event: Amp Your Apps! Powering Revenue with First Party Publisher Data
Food: Savory Pastries

WeWork stuck to it's typical repertoire by hosting an event about data/mobile/Internet stuff that mostly befuddled attendees. But they did upgrade from their typical vegetable platter to a selection of savory pastries so the whole thing was basically bearable.

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6 meals in April // $30 donated to Food Bank For New York City

Week 62: Pops & Portraits

Thursday, April 20, 2017
Location: Joseph Gross Gallery (Chelsea)
Event: The Art of POP: An Ode to Andy Warhol
Food: Champagne popsicle

Trying to prove that adding alcohol to something is always a good idea, FrutaPOP has created boozy ice pops. They took over a Chelsea art gallery to show weird portraits of Andy Warhol and induce brain freezes. They even had a live band that did not take kindly to Missy Elliott requests.

Week 61: Town Halls & Wedding Bells

Monday, April 3, 2017
Location: Roulette (Boerum Hill)
Event: Roulette's Spring Neighborhood Open House
Food: Beans, rice, edible spoon

This event would have been perfect for planning my nonexistent upcoming wedding. Various caters served up their best offerings, a live band played, and I even got to experience the awkward mingling my guests would endure. And in the most exciting moment since I found out about bread bowls, I experienced my first hor d'oeuvre served on an edible spoon.

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Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Location: St. John's Lutheran Church (Greenpoint)
Event: 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting
Food: Donut

If you are nostalgic for conservative small-town politics, head over to the 94th Precinct's Community Board meeting in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. You can recall the Pledge of Allegiance from third grade and enjoy a delicious Peter Pan blueberry muffin-esque donut in the basement of a church. Progressives beware, but if you're interested in opening a bar in the neighborhood, it might be best for you to show your face.

—Guest roach Alyson

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Thursday, April 6, 2017
Location: Cornell University ILR
Event: The Maker Movement
Food: Shrimp , avocado toast, mushroom

Cornell ILR school hosted another event on the future of work. This talk focused on the maker movement, which I guess just describes people with useful hobbies, unlike my foray into collecting coins. My overall takeaway was that I should probably get back into shrinky dinks.

Week 60: Good Food & Good People

Wednesday, March 29, 2017
Location: Essex Street Market (LES)
Event: Food for Good: How Nonprofits are Creating Change Through Food
Food: Cookies

Essex Street Market hosted local food businesses that are doing good for the community. From a food truck run by former convicts to a girls club teaching cooking skills, they all had inspiring stories and impressive results. LES Girls Club and Reconnect Brooklyn also provided some delicious baked goods to help us all break our Lenten promises.

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8 meals in March // $40 donated to Food Bank For New York City

Week 59: Sushi & Spring

Monday, March 20, 2017
Location: Sony Square (Flatiron)
Event: Innovation. Technology. Design: A Panel Discussion on Sony's Product Design
Food: Sushi

While Sony isn't as cool as they were back in the Walkman days, they serve sushi at their events now so I'm a believer. Three sleek looking Japanese men presented on the Sony design philosophy while I drank wine and sat on a stuffed cube. They couldn't get the videos in their presentation to load which is sort of ironic, but seems to be a common theme at most tech companies.

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Monday, March 20, 2017
Location: Dairy Queen (Union Square)
Event: Free Cone Day
Food: Soft serve

New York City is tragically lacking in Dairy Queen locations, but I made my pilgrimage to the only one in Manhattan for free cone day. DQ celebrated the first day of spring by handing out soft serve and testing the limits of their employees' patience in dealing with freeloaders.

Week 58: Big Ladies & Small Cakes

Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Location: UNIFORM (Midtown)
Event: Badass Babes Panel & Party with Ann Shoket
Food: Cupcake

Ann Shoket, the former editor of Seventeen magazine, hosted a panel of inspiring women working in NYC. They had a wealth of advice on staying focused, being a good boss, and even some dating tips. The personalities were big, but the cupcakes were small. I'm still holding out hope that someday I will encounter a feminist event that is brave enough to serve full size cupcakes.

Week 57: Crime & Cereal

Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Location: Grand Central (Midtown)
Event: Ben & Jerry's Cereal Splashback
Food: Frozen Flakes Ice Cream

Ben & Jerry's decided to made cereal only slightly more unhealthy by adding ice cream to it. They celebrated National Cereal Day by introducing three flavors inspired by everyone's favorite breakfast dessert. Their setup in Grand Central included a giant ball pit, which is the kind of thing I would literally never do in public.

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Sunday, March 12, 2017
Location: The VYNL (East Village)
Event: Social Sunday Pop-Up
Food: Cookie squares

For unknowable reasons, this event had a very long line to get it. It was basically a flea market with various vendors selling not immediately useful things. They also had cookies laid out on the table which were free unless I stole them.

Week 56: Feminists & Freelancers

Thursday, March 2, 2017
Location: Cornell University ILR
Event: The Global Gig Economy: Choice or Necessity?
Food: Fruit, crackers, cheese

Usually events involving Ivy League schools and reputable consulting firms find legitimate reasons to exclude me, but I somehow slipped through the cracks. McKinsey Consulting presented their report on the gig economy hosted by the Cornell ILR School. Apparently about 30% of people do this type of independent work and they're happier than the rest of us with dumb regular jobs.

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Saturday, March 4, 2017
Location: Barnard College
Event: Haptic Bodies: Perception, Touch, and the Ethics of Being
Food: Sandwich, salad, pasta salad

What is the smell of resistance? This was perhaps the least weird question posed at the Haptic Bodies talk, which was part of Barnard's annual Scholar and Feminist Conference. I got to revisit my all girls school roots and wander around Barnard desperately hoping that my face still looks 19 (it does not). We also got to chat with an adorable quilter who was featured in an accompanying art installation and was basically the second grandma we all want.

Week 55: Politics & Posers

Our new guest roach this week is Alyson. This Barnard grad can be found social working around and getting a stellar return on her unlimited metro card. Her interests include kickboxing, saying she's going to knit you a hat, and dead Tejano singers. She eats free to support ACLU.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Location: Union Temple of Brooklyn (Prospect Heights)
Event: 9th District of Brooklyn Town Hall Regarding Trump's First 30 Days
Food: Donuts

Trying to be a politically aware and active millennial in Brooklyn is no easy feat. Especially when there are 1,500 other like-minded people trying to get into the same Jewish temple to engage and listen to Congresswoman Yvette Clarke's town hall presentation and discussion. The struggle of a roach never felt so real. Thank the universe there were piles of donuts, brownies, cookies, blondies, and coffee available for the masses to nosh while writing a very thought-provoking and strongly worded postcard to the 45th president, who shall remain unnamed. 

—Alyson

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Thursday, February 23, 2017
Location: NYU School of Law (Greenwich Village)
Event: Run for Something: Helping Progressives Under 35 Run for Office
Food: Pizza

NYU Law Democrats hosted an event to encourage progressives under 35 to run for political office. I got to pretend to be an NYU Law student for the night, which is a lot safer than that time I pretended to be a pilot. They also served pizza, which is a political candidate I can get behind.

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6 meals in February // $20 donated to Food Bank For New York City // $10 donated to LA Food Bank // $10 donated to ACLU

Week 54: Sneaky Treats & Social Meets

Monday, February 13, 2017
Location: Rizzoli Bookstore (Flatiron)
Event: The Virtuous Tart Book Launch
Food: Caramel candy

Perhaps trying to steal the throne from sneaky chef Jessica Seinfeld, Susan Jane White wrote a cookbook about making desserts from healthy ingredients. White was on-hand to answer questions and give out samples of her nutritious treats— though this just happened to be the last thing I ate before I got a gallstone lodged in my bile duct so my recommendation of her recipes as a healthy lifestyle choice is half-hearted at best.

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Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Location: Marvallure (Pasadena)
Event: Social Media Workshop
Food: Salami, cheese, veggies, and chocolate

Anything involving clothes and other women business owners you can count me in! I am terrible at social media so it was really awesome to meet with other women business owners. I got really helpful hints! #womensupportingwomen

—Guest roach Lauren

Week 53: Sugar & Sugar

Saturday, February 11, 2017
Location: Aerie SoHo Pop-Up (SoHo)
Event: U-Day Love
Food: Sugar cookies

Shockingly I wasn't cool enough to shop at American Eagle when I was at an appropriate age to do so, but now I'm making up for lost time. Aerie was having a Valentine's Day pop-up complete with those inedible message hearts and sugar cookies. I got to make my own to-go bag of goodies and avoid social interaction completely.